Thursday, April 7, 2016

National Poetry Month, day 7

Inspired by today's NaPoWriMo prompt, I've written a Tritina :) Please critique gently - this is very, very rough draft.

Title
By all that I hold dear
Until I'm done I cannot rest
No matter how I drain the well

write it now and write it well
make good the inspiration dear
it's mine so isn't like the rest

When finished then the draft will rest
Revise to make the weak parts well
Time will show what's cheap or dear

My dear, rest well, as often as you need.

2 comments:

  1. I would probably add a few commas, because I am comma-happy, but I don't know if the format permits?

    (If so, "make good the inspiration, dear"? "it's mine, so isn't like the rest"? "When finished, then the draft will rest"? Pooosssibly "Until I'm done, I cannot rest"?)

    But, as said, I do love my commas.

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    Replies
    1. usually I'm pretty comma happy myself :) I was so focused on getting the endwords in place, punctuation went right out of my head.

      Thank for the feedback :) If/when I come back to this one, I'll probably use commas in those places. The form only dictates the repetition of the end words, and the 3-3-3-1 line format. I'm not sure if this or a villanelle is harder!

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